Hi you all. There has been a great lapse in my blog blasts because, largely, the last six months have sucked. Let me be clear: I am cancer-free, according to the dr. This is the good news. The bad news is that my body has lost its ability to absorb calcium, due to my parathyroid glands being nicked, or removed, during my last surgery. What does this mean? It means that I must take 2000 mg of calcium every day for the rest of my life. Hey, no problem, right? Most people don't get enough anyway. Well, ok. Each 500 mg pill is about 3/4 inch long. Ok, not a big deal. The big deal is that you can't take it with your thyroid supp. or with any dairy, because it cancels its effects out. And you can't take it on an empty stomach, or you'll puke (which I did, right outside a sushi restaurant last month). And you can't take it all at the same time, or you'll just poop the excess out. What this means is that for the next 40 years, I will be on a regimented pill schedule: morning, before any food/dairy consumption (meaning no cheerios) = synthroid, calcitriol (not quite calcium), Paxil. Lunch=1000 mg calcium. Dinner=1000 mg calcium. If I miss any pills, I will know it, because my hands and feet will start falling asleep if I cross them, or sit on them.... If I'm without calcium for a day or two, my lips and face will start going numb. If I get stuck on a desert island without any pills, after about a week, my body will being to seize, and odds are, I will die...long before my I miss having my thyroid hormone. Fuckin great!
Ok, I was just getting over this ("You have a chronic condition," said the dr.), when phase #2 kicked in. I started getting a pain in my jaw: not the bone, but the space in front of the hinge that opens your mouth. Like I'd been hit hard. It came and went, on both sides. Whatever. And then, my mouth went dry. Profoundly. I was gulping water when I woke up, and throughout the day. I couldn't eat toast, or anything dryish, without water. WTF? I finally looked it up, and learned, guess what, that the salivary glands located in front of my jaws have been irreversibly (?) damaged by the radioactive iodine treatment. Scar tissue is now blocking them. Great. So not only do I feel like I am dehydrated all of the time, but I've learned that when this happens, your teeth start to rot from the roots.
O fucking hell! It's like be plagued by a bunch of little mosquitoes.
So I've been depressed. I'd been doing really well at work, and really enjoying my work, but I would home and just want to hide. Motherhood was getting in the way of that, as you can imagine. Figuring out how to order all of my prescriptions on time has been difficult. I haven't been super good at taking care of myself ever. So it's been challenging.
Anyway, it's a new year now, and I'm feeling better enough to write this blog. I'm sorry if it's a downer, but I'm hoping it will be the last one. The girls are becoming really amazing, the house is shaping up, and I'm slowly losing weight. This summer is my 20th college reunion, and I'm looking forward to seeing old friends and speculating about the second half of our lives. Looks like in spite of it all, I may be there to witness it, pills and all.
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Wow. I had no idea you were going through this. I'm so sorry! My weight gain seems so inconsequential compared to the side effects you suffered from the whole 'I have cancer' ordeal. Of course, I heard about the calcium deal (remember that was at least one of my pin pricks each time) and the salivary gland damage. I never had any dip in calcium, but did lose my sense of taste for a few weeks each time. You poor thing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to prop me up when you had all of this on your own plate. You are amazing!
Gosh, what a bummer. It must be hard to "rejoice" about no more cancer when you're faced with after-effects like that..I imagine that the pill-taking will quickly become routine, as much of a drag as it is right now, but it's a shame about the salivary glands - is it truly irreversible? You'll have to be like the French, and just tote a cute little bottle of Evian around wherever you go..(sorry, just trying to think of a positive side)
ReplyDeleteBTW, don't give up on me for this summer; I may be flying solo, but am hoping to take a trip over at some point in July - just waiting on some dates due to family/court stuff..
Oh Julie, I'm so happy that you might be coming! You know that Tim is coming from Peru July 1-12, and there's a party on the 4th at my house.
ReplyDeleteOh Julie, I so know the desire to climb under a blanket and hide until it goes away, but how can we support you if you don't tell anyone? What a pain to deal with all the pills at very specific times! As always, please let us know if we can help, even if it is just by providing an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on.
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