Sprezza-What?!

I feel muddled. Addled. Cloudy. Opaque. Usually, things settle by the time I get to work, and when they're shaken up again at the end of the day, I can collect myself in the car on the way home. But not today. I'm floating through my day, thanking god left and right that some context cue reminds me that I have a meeting in five minutes, or a class.

Scratch the surface, and it's chaos.

The Italians call the ability to pretend like everything's cool in the face of insanity "sprezzatura." I used to have this act nailed; today, with children and less $$$, it just isn't happening.

Perhaps it's a matter of upping the Paxil? Perhaps it's a matter of not caring so much.

Jeff had to stay home with Sophie today, who has a cold or flu. He fell asleep with her, then woke up in a panic because he'd left the bedroom door open. She was just sitting there, playing, but for all he knew, she was down the block hitching a ride to Rite-Aid. These are the little merciful moments that go our way. Luck.

I'm just going to keep repeating "Luck" until everything gets easier.